by William McKenzie Neal

Mix in diced vegetables of any persuasion. (Diced Flanny Steak optional.) Boil contents till hell freezes over, making sure to trap the steam and whatever liquid there remains in the kettle. Throw the vegetables outside for the dogs. Drink the juice warm.

It wasn't until I got older, much older, that while I was scrounging around in my great-great-great Uncle Manny's foot locker that I found this and tried this horrendous recipe for vegetables. Maybe Uncle Manny lived in more lucrative circumstances. Maybe he grew his own vegetables, and it's why Flanny Steak was optional that he could mix his favorite bourbon in such a giant supply and then throw the vegetables outside. Either that, or he was just a plain out and out alcoholic. Either way I loved the man dearly, and I'm sure his dogs did too.

Copyright © 1985, William McKenzie Neal
Reproduced with permission.

(Don't try this at home, kids ...)  

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